Life Above the Corporate Microscope---A Maverick's Peace of Mind

When you write a book called Life Under the Corporate Microscope---A Maverick's Irreverent Perspective, it only makes sense to write a sequel and call it Life Above the Corporate Microscope---A Maverick's Peace of Mind.  Granted, my original book was based on 26 years worth of experience, working for Enterprise Rent-a-Car; I've only been retired for eight years, so this next book is either going to be a short one (50 or 60 pages), or I'm going to have to get creative in my content.

I think I can muster up the necessary amount of creativity to make this next tome another interesting and compelling piece of work.  After all, without all that work getting in the way, life tends to be more enjoyable, and consequently more interesting.  To put it succinctly, I partied like a rock star (finally), made a lot of new friends, made some new enemies, and made some casual acquaintences who fit somewhere in between.

Naturally, I made some really dumb mistakes over the last eight years, but somehow, gained a new found insight about people, events, and life in general.  I'm getting philosophical in my old age.

In the meantime, if you haven't already gotten your very own copy of Life Under the Corporate Microscope, I invite you to take a peek at my website, and order away.  It's just that simple, and the book is just that good.  It's a good old fashioned jab at Corporate America, and it'll keep you so amused with my anecdotes, you won't to put it down.

That's all for now folks.  Now go buy my book.  Thank you.

Here's how to order:  http://outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood

Twitter Dee Twitter Dumb...140 Word Limit? Re-Posting Makes Me Numb...

I'm a recent fan of that zany little phenomenon the whole Twitter World is Twitting about...In 140 characters or less, of course...That's right; I'm a real, live, Twitter-er...and I love it.

There are a few observations I've made that may or may not be shared by others, but please keep in mind; I'm usually right.  I may ramble, but sooner or later, I'll make a valid point; I think.  (Yes, I do use semi-colons; that's what a real, live, author does; I think.)

OBSERVATION #1:  You will find a wealth of insightful information from intelligent people who present their thoughts, display a good sense of humor, then move on, without wasting our time about their nephew's birthday party, or how they're hobnobbing with the future Governor of Wherever.

OBSERVATION#2:  You are mandated by Twitter Law to state your case in 140 characters or less, per post.  Per post?  No problem, leading to...

OBSERVATION#3:  If you just can't keep your thoughts for the day down to 140 characters, simply re-post, until you've made your point, even if your "point" is "pointless".  It doesn't matter.  Babble away, guykawasaki; babble away.  At least change your profile picture every now and then, so we aren't forced to see that same stupid, silly grin on your annoying face, every single day!  Hell, I changed my picture, just to see if anyone would notice (I'm only smirking now; not grinning). 

OBSERVATION#4:  If you like somebody's comments, or if they like your's, by activating the cool "Following" feature (just a simple little click), you will gradually develop a terrific networking base, which over time, will  grow exponentially.  There are probably thousands of people who are mutual fans of thousands of other people, like my new buddy, Themelis_Cuiper.  He startled the shit out of me when he submitted his intention of following my words of wisdom, so naturally, I returned the favor; as did a few hundred other people the other day.  This guy knows what he's doing; for sure.

OBSERVATION#4:  When you are a newcomer, prepare yourself for a dose of reality.  You may think your posts are so superb, they should be immediately recognized for their genius by your peers; but think again.  Nobody will think you're anything special, so join the masses in that sea of anonimity for a while.  Hang in there; gradually develop a mutual following, and you'll achieve something or other.  Personally, I'm trying to market my book, so I can like, pay bills and stuff.

OBSERVATION#5:  There are a number of famous people who post their ramblings, and it's generally quite amusing.  Guys like Mark Cuban and Rob Cordroy usually put a smile on my face, lol or lmao.  Of course, some of these famous people are so self-absorbed, they actually believe anybody really cares about their upcoming fund raiser with Snoop Dog, or they just had a little chat with Obama about the lessons to be learned from relying on those stupid teleprompters to give speeches.  I had a little fun with Steve Case, the founder of something or other internet related, giving him a little dose of his own banal medicine, which I thought was kind of funny, paraphrasing something he'd posted; but Steve, it was only good natured kidding.

Now I'm going to email the administrative staff at Twitter with my thoughts on improving their little Exec Tweets format, which I'm sure they'll give careful consideration and review, and possibly implement within the next 36 to 48 months; or not.  But it's worth a shot; sooner or later they'll realize I'm usually right.

In wrapping up this first installment of Twitter Talk, here's my favorite quote of the day, from someone going by the moniker, "pblackshaw":  Who needs a PR firm when every Twitter user is like a PR firm on steroids?  How true, and now I'm a faithful follower of whatever this person has to say from now on.

Now go buy my book, Life Under the Corporate Microscope, a mad-cap romp through 26 years of dealing with Corporate America's dominant car rental force, Enterprise Rent-a-Car.  It's not only a "great read", it's a "must read"; but at your earliest convenience. 

That website, for further information:  http://www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood

For all you Exec Tweets, I'll be visiting with you tomorrow.  Right now, I've got to go do something very important, although I can't seem to recall what it shall be.  Oh well, life is so beautiful with me in it.

The Magic of Those Search Engines

I'm not sure how many people are reading my little blogs; probably not too many.  That's okay, because with the magic of the internet explorer, anything I post that mentions the title to my book, "Life Under the Corporate Microscope", will almost instantaneously, pop up in those incredible search engines, giving the book more exposure, resulting in fewer sales.

I was just kidding there to see if you were paying attention.  I meant to say "increased sales"; sorry about that, but that's just me being me.

Now, if you were me, would you post more blogs and other miscellaneous ramblings on the internet, or would you go bowling instead?  As much as I like to bowl (btw, I rolled a 290 the other day, in practice), I think posting on every site imaginable is the way to go; assuming I want to sell copies of my book.

Gosh, I almost forgot to mention the title again:  "Life Under the Corporate Microscope", written by me.
My name is Larry Underwood, and I'll be your blogger today.  Is there anything else I can do to increase my search engine effectiveness?  I think I'm doing it right at this particular moment.  Isn't technology great?

In case you're joining me for the first time, hi there; welcome aboard the Underwood Express.  Destination:
To my widely growing fan base (maybe in double digits by now), and of course, that thing known as the Search Engine.  A few months ago, I thought it was some sort of automotive device designed to monitor your fuel efficiency rating; or whatever.

Now I realize it's my key to the wonderful world of book sales.  Did I say book?  Yes, I strongly recommend you read a book called, "Life Under the Corporate Microscope"---my irreverent and mostly humorous, perspective of life with that Corporate American car rental giant, Enterprise Rent-a-Car.
Hey, I worked there for 26 years, made a lot of money, got booted out (I think the money was the major issue), and eight years later, I've got that book flying off some sort of shelves.  But don't take my word for it.  Visit my website for further information:  http://www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood

Good bye for now.  It's time to go somewhere else on the internet and start babbling that wonderful title.

Obama, Corporate America and You: Teaming up to Fix the Economy!

I think we're starting to come back, as a nation---still ranked #1 in the world (according to the UPI poll and the Underwood Research poll), thanks in large part to our ability to make fun of ourselves no matter what happpens.  It's the American way.

Let's take for example, the recent events that make us laugh; and for the millions of people who can't afford health insurance, at least they've got the best free medicine available, that wonderful "lol"; even to the point of "lmao".  Don't you just love those cute little abbreviations?  They're so wonderfully hip, so 21st Century, and of course, so convenient.  Speed is critical, especially when you're trying to get an important message out to the world via the internet.  Who wants to waste time commenting on a humorous situation by typing "laugh out loud" or "laugh my ass off"?  I mean, "wtf"?

A few nights ago, when President Obama was eloquently giving some little speech, reading it from the teleprompter with such aplomb, it was almost spell-binding.  His closer:  "I'd like to thank myself...."

Oops.  Is it just me, or did anybody else think that our President had become "Ron Burgundy:  Anchorman"?   The best scene in the movie:  When Anchorman Ron, skillfully reading that litle teleprompter at the end of his newscast, signs off with this inspiring message:  "Go f*ck yourself, San Diego."  Of course, he didn't have a clue he had just said something that might be considered offensive to some San Diego viewers, because his job is to read, not think.

I'm already wondering if some practical joker will put Nixon's resignation speech on the teleprompter for President Obama to read during his next pep rally:  "Effective immediately, I'm gone, folks.  Bye!"

Still, our President remains relatively popular.  He's a good looking devil, with a great smile, and he has great style, if not substance, when delivering his lines...I mean "speeches". 

I'll be the first to admit on this particular forum, I've been getting sick of all the hype surrounding Obama for several weeks now; and I think nearly half of America shares that sentiment.  Even  the American Dental Association has revealed, "Four out of five dentists surveyed are already sick of Obama, but think his teeth and gums look healthy."  Not bad; not bad at all.  Btw, I'm thinking about running for President in 2012; fyi.  I think I'll be a Republican.

My campaign slogan will be:  "Vote for me.  I never lie and I'm always right."

In other news, I finally succumbed to the Twitter phenomenon.  I mean, wtf, I've got a book to market, folks!  ("Life Under the Corporate Microscope")  Since I'm a relatively new twitter-er...I was immediately drawn to their newly created "Exec Tweets", designed to be a forum for great business minds to get together and discuss any relevent business/marketing related topics.  My very first post, which I thought was sort of profound, whimsically paraphrasing FDR, went something like this:

"Corporate America has nothing to fear, except the culture of 'fear' Corporate America has created."

Now, if the other tweeters like your comments, they can "vote" for it, although I'm not sure what happens if they vote you into something you don't want to do.  I won't have to worry about that, because my pathetic little tweet would quickly disappear in the vast sea of other self-serving tweeters who, for some reason or another, decided posting something once wouldn't do the trick.  No, they had to post "Good sales happens when attitude is good" 47 times, hoping their little mass marketing campaign would fool the other tweeters into casting a vote for them.  Wtf?

It seemed so obviously ridiculous to me (again, I could be wrong), my next post read:  "Wouldn't it be nice if they had a 'one post' limit over here?"  I'm sure that one went over well with those corporate climbers and con-artists, trying to peddle their wares like some sleazy door to door salesman.  I think the gist of this soon to be extinct part of Tweeter is this is the executive's equivalent of Facebook, where many angst ridden teens tell their buddies about how high they got last night on that killer weed; or whatever.  Actually, if you get past that garbage, I kind of like Facebook; I've reconnected with good people I hadn't heard from in years, and of course, they're buying my book.  Lol.

A couple of nights ago, somebody posted something about Missouri making it to the elite 8 (I believe for the first time ever) in the NCAAP March madness mania, so I posted something to the effect, "with that great news, you've got my vote!"  So her running tally went from 10 to 11, thanks to her biggest fan.  Her immediate action the very next day was to put me in her "fan club" or whatever they call their social networking thing.  Immediately, my mind began racing.  If you suck up to enough people, they'll like you; they'll really  like you.

Then, I'll sell them my damned book.  Is this a great country or what?

Now, if Corporate America will start becoming more productive by eliminating the culture of fear that has taken over and replace that with a culture of innovation and free-sprited, fun-loving entreprenuerialsim, we might just make it through this current administration, stronger than ever...Well, at least stronger than we were at the end of the first quarter of 2009.

In closing, I'd simply like to thank myself for being...

Lol.  Seriously, you do need to visit my website:  http://www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood

In addition to thanking me, I'd also like to thank...you.