Saturday, March 28, 2009

Obama, Corporate America and You: Teaming up to Fix the Economy!

I think we're starting to come back, as a nation---still ranked #1 in the world (according to the UPI poll and the Underwood Research poll), thanks in large part to our ability to make fun of ourselves no matter what happpens.  It's the American way.

Let's take for example, the recent events that make us laugh; and for the millions of people who can't afford health insurance, at least they've got the best free medicine available, that wonderful "lol"; even to the point of "lmao".  Don't you just love those cute little abbreviations?  They're so wonderfully hip, so 21st Century, and of course, so convenient.  Speed is critical, especially when you're trying to get an important message out to the world via the internet.  Who wants to waste time commenting on a humorous situation by typing "laugh out loud" or "laugh my ass off"?  I mean, "wtf"?

A few nights ago, when President Obama was eloquently giving some little speech, reading it from the teleprompter with such aplomb, it was almost spell-binding.  His closer:  "I'd like to thank myself...."

Oops.  Is it just me, or did anybody else think that our President had become "Ron Burgundy:  Anchorman"?   The best scene in the movie:  When Anchorman Ron, skillfully reading that litle teleprompter at the end of his newscast, signs off with this inspiring message:  "Go f*ck yourself, San Diego."  Of course, he didn't have a clue he had just said something that might be considered offensive to some San Diego viewers, because his job is to read, not think.

I'm already wondering if some practical joker will put Nixon's resignation speech on the teleprompter for President Obama to read during his next pep rally:  "Effective immediately, I'm gone, folks.  Bye!"

Still, our President remains relatively popular.  He's a good looking devil, with a great smile, and he has great style, if not substance, when delivering his lines...I mean "speeches". 

I'll be the first to admit on this particular forum, I've been getting sick of all the hype surrounding Obama for several weeks now; and I think nearly half of America shares that sentiment.  Even  the American Dental Association has revealed, "Four out of five dentists surveyed are already sick of Obama, but think his teeth and gums look healthy."  Not bad; not bad at all.  Btw, I'm thinking about running for President in 2012; fyi.  I think I'll be a Republican.

My campaign slogan will be:  "Vote for me.  I never lie and I'm always right."

In other news, I finally succumbed to the Twitter phenomenon.  I mean, wtf, I've got a book to market, folks!  ("Life Under the Corporate Microscope")  Since I'm a relatively new twitter-er...I was immediately drawn to their newly created "Exec Tweets", designed to be a forum for great business minds to get together and discuss any relevent business/marketing related topics.  My very first post, which I thought was sort of profound, whimsically paraphrasing FDR, went something like this:

"Corporate America has nothing to fear, except the culture of 'fear' Corporate America has created."

Now, if the other tweeters like your comments, they can "vote" for it, although I'm not sure what happens if they vote you into something you don't want to do.  I won't have to worry about that, because my pathetic little tweet would quickly disappear in the vast sea of other self-serving tweeters who, for some reason or another, decided posting something once wouldn't do the trick.  No, they had to post "Good sales happens when attitude is good" 47 times, hoping their little mass marketing campaign would fool the other tweeters into casting a vote for them.  Wtf?

It seemed so obviously ridiculous to me (again, I could be wrong), my next post read:  "Wouldn't it be nice if they had a 'one post' limit over here?"  I'm sure that one went over well with those corporate climbers and con-artists, trying to peddle their wares like some sleazy door to door salesman.  I think the gist of this soon to be extinct part of Tweeter is this is the executive's equivalent of Facebook, where many angst ridden teens tell their buddies about how high they got last night on that killer weed; or whatever.  Actually, if you get past that garbage, I kind of like Facebook; I've reconnected with good people I hadn't heard from in years, and of course, they're buying my book.  Lol.

A couple of nights ago, somebody posted something about Missouri making it to the elite 8 (I believe for the first time ever) in the NCAAP March madness mania, so I posted something to the effect, "with that great news, you've got my vote!"  So her running tally went from 10 to 11, thanks to her biggest fan.  Her immediate action the very next day was to put me in her "fan club" or whatever they call their social networking thing.  Immediately, my mind began racing.  If you suck up to enough people, they'll like you; they'll really  like you.

Then, I'll sell them my damned book.  Is this a great country or what?

Now, if Corporate America will start becoming more productive by eliminating the culture of fear that has taken over and replace that with a culture of innovation and free-sprited, fun-loving entreprenuerialsim, we might just make it through this current administration, stronger than ever...Well, at least stronger than we were at the end of the first quarter of 2009.

In closing, I'd simply like to thank myself for being...

Lol.  Seriously, you do need to visit my website:  http://www.outskirtspress.com/LarryUnderwood

In addition to thanking me, I'd also like to thank...you.

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